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The Drunk Man's Paper Bag

Sometimes I think I should change my blog to: You can wear high heels and stop drinking wine because you love Jesus. I love my wine. Period. But, sometimes my reasons for indulging in my favorite past time are not good. I often force myself to take a wine hiatus. I recently went so far as to give myself a little test to further gauge my drinking habit...

1. Do you look forward to drinking wine with great anticipation? Yes.
2. Have you recently found yourself in a panic when you realized you were out of wine on a Sunday, the same day it's illegal to buy alcohol? Yep. 
3. Please describe your recent reaction when you found a bottle of Kendall Jackson on a Sunday when you thought you had none. I thought I won the freaking lottery.
5. Can you go a few nights without drinking? Yes, but I miss it. Desperately...
6. Do you see yourself being like this woman when you get older? Yes. But, hopefully I'll be better looking.

6.  Describe your nightly routine, and if wine is a part of it.
Each night after dinner, I bathe Bella. We say prayers and I tuck her in. She calls me back into her room 5 minutes later to bring her sippy cup with water. The pink one. Then she has to go potty.  I tuck her back in. Again. Approximately 8 minutes later, she yells through her door that she's hot. She needs different pajamas. The Rapunzel ones. Not the Dora ones. The dirty Rapunzel ones at the bottom of the hamper. I tuck her in. Again. This time, with a stiff warning. I usually don't hear anything for an estimated 7 minutes. Then, she calls me again. She's cold. I hastily remove the dirty Rapunzel pajamas and put back on the warmer pajamas I just took off. I raise my voice this time as I tuck her in. Her voice cracks as she softly asks me to please turn on her nightlight. I give her an extra hug. She whispers a last request and explains my final mission should I choose to accept. A polly pocket with a pink dress has gone missing, thought to be somewhere within the toy tornado wreckage in the playroom. If I find it, she promises, this time she'll go to bed. So, after I find the stupid polly pocket 10 minutes later, she's snoring. I pour myself an enormous glass of wine without further interruption.

7. Please give an accurate description of your last wine hiatus. How long it was and how it ended.
My most recent wine hiatus lasted a whopping 4 days. It ended around 8:30 on a Saturday night. I decided I was in the mood for a glass since it was the weekend and all.. I went to the gas station at at the end of my street. Red flag number one. The crazies seemed to be out that night, loitering near the front of the store. They stared at me as I rushed past them clinging my purse for dear life. I hurried to find a decent bottle then swiftly took my place in the long line of fellow alcohol purchasing customers. Of the 7 or so, all but one of them was holding wine and/or beer. One might think such an observation would make me feel more "normal" standing among fellow drinkers. It didn't. It made me cringe. Is this how my husband feels when he's standing in line holding tampons? It was finally my turn. "Hi,  just the bottle of wine please." The cashier didn't ask me for my I.D. I wasn't wearing my age defying concealer. He didn't make eye contact either. He robotically scanned the bottle, gave me change and proceeded to stuff my wine in a dreaded drunk man's brown paper bag. I nearly fell over. That's like the ultimate badge of shame! "Excuse me, do you possibly have a different bag? Like a plastic one or something?" I asked. "Nope, next customer please," he said as he shooed me out the door. Too bad brown is the only drunk man's paper bag option LV ones would be so much cuter for the ladies.


To make myself feel better, or worse, I decided to see what the Bible has to say about drinking. There are basically 2 theories, I prefer the first one.

"Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in distress; let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more."
 (Proverbs 31:6-7)
AND
 "...do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit..." 
(Ephesians 5:18)

The Bible doesn't always spell out what we can or cannot do. We have the freedom in Christ to make decisions. And if we allow the Holy Spirit to guide us as we make those decisions, He will lead us to the right answers. We have the choice to either listen or ignore the tug in our hearts when we know something is not right.


"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." 
(Proverbs 3:5-6)

Although I don't like it, I know God wants me to bring my problems to Him instead of my wine. Personally, I don't feel like there is anything wrong with drinking. There is a problem with drinking too much. So, off I go on another hiatus. Anyone care to join me?